IMG_20140806_162015Before I was a mother I had a lot of ideas about how this would go for me. I had ideas about what it was like for other families and how ‘easy’ it was to get back at it. I have seen moms jump back into their normal lives and think ‘wow it must be so easy for them. I can do what they did, I can be back to my old self just with a baby.’

No. Nope. Not. At. All.

You see you have no idea what kind of mother you will be until AFTER your baby arrives. How you will feel when you look that little hunk of baby in the eyes. What kind of decisions you will really be making until the birth has happened and you’ve settled into your new ‘side’ but very much full time career of human development.

There was no bouncing back in 3 months, there was no working out, there was no eating perfect and getting back into my normal pre pregnancy routine. There was only complete chaos.

Not sleeping, not eating, not hydrating. Only making it out of the house enough to refresh my sense of self and then back in to just get through the newborn days and then finally getting to the other stuff- like keeping the house clean and making sure there were enough clean clothes for at LEAST the baby.

My brain was gone. I couldn’t organize, no sense of time to set goals, no sense of future or past only PRESENT and right NOW. Making it through every single moment with this new precious amazing bundle of joy and giving everything in me to him, rather than being able to save any for myself. Which I KNEW i’d be able to do pre birth.

So lets fast forward to when I finally started to feel somewhat normal again. Oh yeah, about a year later. I’m finally feeling like I have this not sleeping thing under control. I’ve learned to meal prep in advance so i’m not scrambling for healthy ideas for dinner. I’ve learned to be active WITH my baby so I can feel great and keep my stamina. I’ve learned that my body is PERFECT the way it is because I love ME and there is no point in doing more than I can handle right now. My family loves me and that is all that matters.

I’ve always worried about weight and tried to be smaller but when I relax and focus on my HEALTH and my ability to do daily activities with ease I feel just as great as when I did when I was smaller.

I feel just as great when I’m taking care of my mental and physical health in a way that feels like fun rather than a chore AND my family benefits just as much as I do.

So as I work my way back into business with clients I am refreshed with a new perspective on health and life balance. I want to share the message that you CAN do this, but give yourself the space and time to get back there. Stop pressuring yourselves to be something that you don’t need to be overnight. This body/life changing thing is a process. It’s hard work and it takes dedication and constant learning. It’s ok to take a break to focus on something else for a while. It’s ok to come back to it when you feel ready too. It’s ok to be YOU and not some version of yourself you think you should be.

Even personal trainers, who motivate others, fall off their own wagon. We are all human.